{Hold on to hope}

“So take heart
Let His love lead us through the night
Hold on to hope
And take courage again” – Joel Houston {Hillsong United}

Last sunday at church, we sang, “Take Heart” by Hillsong United, during worship. This past week, again and again the lyrics were stuck in my head, especially “Hold on to hope and take courage again”.

This last year, the Lord was speaking to me a lot about trust and hope. Trusting Him. Trusting others. Risking my heart to trust Him. Being hopeful for the future and in circumstances. Over and over again, the Lord asked me to trust Him and to have confidence in Him to HOPE.

A year ago, when I went home for Christmas, without going into detail, I was really struggling with a lot of promises in my life and just enjoying life to the fullest. I was having a hard time trusting God, hearing God and having confidence in myself. I pretty much cried everyday for a week (which is NOT normal for me). I felt like I had been going around and around in circles and wasn’t seeing God move in my life. I wasn’t happy and was struggling to find joy and love my life. I felt like I was just going through the motions of life and unsure of how I got to this place of hopelessness and distrust.  As I look back at this moment, I am reminded of Genesis 32:22-32, where Jacob wrestled with God. His name changed because he struggled with God and man but overcame. During the struggle he saw God FACE to FACE and his life was spared.

What it came down to was ..Trust. Trust in God, have Hope and take courage. Even through the struggle, look at God face to face and you will overcome.  I was talking with a friend who shared with me some advice, and reminded me that it is ok to come to God as you are. Whether angry, sad, happy, disappointed, hopeless, etc., as long as you come to God and be angry WITH him, be sad with him, be FACE to FACE with Him.  It’s in the struggle that we are changed, as long as we struggle FACE to FACE with God…we will overcome what we are going through. Let Him lead you.  I feel the past few months, I have been standing, laying, running, fighting and even jumping (haha) Face to Face with God and regaining that I CAN TRUST Him. I do not even know how many times, this past year, that  when someone was praying for me (wether I knew them or not) that they said, “I feel like the Lord is saying He really wants you to Trust him”.  I thought I was… but…it was not until the past few months that I really began to understand what it means to trust the Lord with my life, to hope in all circumstances and to let him completely lead me and me not have my own agenda or try to regain control. For me, it was not just verbally declaring that I trustest the Lord, but I really needed to  know in my spirit, my mind, my heart that I trusted the Lord. The more that I have been trusting him the more confidence I have had in myself, in relationships, in work, in my finances, in my needs and really just in every area of my life! I can let go of my control and let HIM lead me. The more I have been trusting, the more hope I have had in circumstances. The more what’s inside of me…hope, trust, love, faith…overtakes my circumstances and I do not have fear of the future  but I really do have a complete trust and faith that the Lord does have HIS BEST in mind for me and what ever His best is … is amazing.

So as you may notice…I process a lot…really ask my friends. I love processing. Sometimes…yes, sometimes, I process to much, causing me to over-analyze and take control, especially when I do not understand situations.  My processing ability, is a strength, but as most strengths, it can also become a weakness if not carefully used. When I process or try to figure situations out and am not getting answers, I begin to loose hope in that situation. I can  have a hard time trusting the Lord that He is speaking or that I am hearing right. It’s this crazy cycle that, well, is not my favorite.  What the Lord has been showing me this past month, is to set my processor aside and trust Him. Hope in Him. Have courage. Take my hands off the situation and let go. So, often (what that really means in probably 3 times a day) is I have to set my processor aside (ie. thank my processor for helping me thus far but to kindly go wait in the car or the house, please.) and sit with the Lord FACE to FACE and let Him speak. Let HIS thoughts, HIS presence, HIS love overtake me and let Him do the processing for me.  Wow, it’s so freeing!!! Talk about a freedom I never knew I could have. 🙂

So here I am, a new year. A year of HOPE, TRUST and taking COURAGE. I do not have to let my circumstances overtake me. Instead I get to have HOPE again. HOPE and TRUST through transition. Continually look FACE to FACE with God in transition, every day life, relationships and dreams. I choose to encounter His love and recognize His presence every day of my life.  I get to TRUST the Lord and that nothing is impossible with God. I do have courage to move forward into HOPE and let HIS love overtake me. What a peaceful feeling.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him,

so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

(Romans 15:13)

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